Hope
by samisweet
Summary: My life had always been harsh, but because of it, I grew strong. I've been trained for a darker purpose, but now that I am aware of it, I will do everything in my power to stop my destiny. Because within me, lies hope. An HPSM original.
1. Part One: Meeting the Malfoys

**Hope**

By samisweet

Chapter One

* * *

Even as a child, I had been considered a beauty. With my dark, mysterious blue eyes that shined with innocence and optimism, to my golden hair that soaked up the sun's rays, to my tanned, flawless skin, I was quite a sight to behold. As a young girl, no one had quite respected me, believing me to be the ditzy, klutzy girl everyone said I was. But I was smart and I knew how to get what I wanted and when I wanted it. Of course, with every story, comes a tragedy.

My tragedy was loss. I had had material gains throughout my life, believe me, but I wanted someone that would love me. As a girl of three, my mother had died in the hands of the Dark Lord and left me in the hands of my strict, shadowed father. He was barely there for me, leaving me in the care of cold and sometimes malicious servants that hated me for who I was. I lived my childhood years alone in my father's large mansion, spending just about all of my time studying and learning the wonders of the world.

I have always had the best in life in the physical sense. The best and latest toys found themselves into my room, but I had a blatant disregard for them. I thirsted for knowledge instead. The most fashionable clothes were a part of my entourage and were always of expensive materials. Everything I owned was expensive. And yet, even with so much, I had so little. I yearned for the emotional feelings in life. I wanted to feel the love that I had read so much about in fairytale stories and novels. I wanted to know what it felt to love and be loved. I wouldn't know anything about the feeling till later. Only Luna gave me the feeling, but only in small doses.

My father was a very influential person in the wizarding world. Since I was the only heir to his powers as well as his fortune, he taught me everything I needed to get what I want, through spiteful teachers and strict instructors. Deception, betrayal, and jealousy found themselves on my mind. By the age of five, I was able to slink my way from problems, scolding, and punishments with the grace of a well-formed woman. By the time I was thirteen, I had learned the art of seduction and how to get a man to obey me. I never used my darker skills unless I truly needed to.

I spoke three different languages fluently at five and was going to learn eight more by the time I was ten. Muggle math proved to be my strong point and I was already on the American 6th grade level at five. It would give me wit and logic, proving me to be far smarter than my peers. My vocabulary was quite extensive and I learned the history of Japan, where I lived, and England, where I would attend school. I learned both the muggle and magical history of the two countries by the time I was nine. I was perceptive of human emotions, and though I led a rather hard life, my kindness was one of my stronger traits. Unlike my cruel father, my eyes were a window to my soul, although I never revealed what they truly held. My story starts in the winter of my sixth year into the harsh world. It was a year I'll never forget.

0o0o0o0o0

"Usagi, pack your bags," my father's voice was icy cold and his lifeless blue eyes glared down on me. I merely nodded once and trotted off to my room, my short legs carrying me at a rather slow pace. I never questioned my father when he ordered to do something. I had done it once and it was lesson enough, ending in a Forbidden Curse and a bruised body. A servant with beady black eyes showed up to help me. He used quick magic to put all of my necessary belongings in a suitcase, along with expensive robes and dresses. I was surprised by the amount of clothing that was put in there, but I didn't question it. This was the first time that my father was taking me somewhere. I had been excited and wanted to please him.

"I have packed, father," I bowed my head in deep respect as my maid, Luna, had taught me. She was one of the kinder servants in the mansion and treated me with tenderness that I was never shown anywhere else in my childhood. Her silvery black hair was pulled back into a bun most of the time and her startlingly crimson eyes held warmth and affection. She was rather on the portly side and was the only maternal figure I have had in my entire life.

"Good," my father replied unemotionally. His dark brown hair was slicked back, not a single hair astray. His face was chiseled and handsome as I remember it but was always marred with a frown or a scowl. His smiles were very, very rare and tight, as if they were painful. When he smiled, though, it was never a smile of kindness or mirth. It was one of a predator or a smirk that showed that he was higher than everyone else. In this way, I was fearful of him.

"Father, if I may be so bold to ask, where are we to go?" my voice was soft and I tensed, expecting a blow for talking out of line. My father merely gave me a ghost of a knowing smile, chilling me down to my bones.

"You shall meet a friend of mine and stay with him for half a year, learning darker knowledge. Then you shall come back and continue with your studies. While you are there, you are to be obedient, observant, and quiet. One toe out of line and my friend shall punish you as he sees fit. Ah, and for talking when you were not asked a question, you will get a punishment," My father raised his wand, turning to look at my fear-filled eyes. I closed them, knowing that deep pain was about to come my way. Bracing myself, I tensed, and then it hit me. "Crucio." The simple whisper sent heaves of pain throughout my body, ripping it to shreds, killing me. My haunting shrieks had rung through the mansion, filling every crack with my intense pain. A few seconds later, the curse was broken, and I wiped my tears away quickly. My father hated the weakness shown when one was crying.

"Remember," my father said sternly. I could barely hear him and stubbornly tried to stop my trembling. Holding my head up high, I nodded, refusing to meet his scorning gaze. "Follow me, Usagi." I obediently followed, my suitcase floating behind me. Father led me to his library, chilly and dark because of the lack of a fire. Pointing his wand at the fireplace, he sparked an ember flame, throwing a small pinch of powder into it. Dancing green flames licked the ceiling of the fireplace. "Step into the fire and say Malfoy Mansion as clearly as possible."

I obeyed immediately, bracing myself for fear of burning. Surprisingly, a tickling sensation surrounded me, and I clearly spoke the two words I was ordered to. I was pulled by a force in the very pit of my stomach and found myself falling forward. Suddenly, as the pulling had begun, it had stopped, and I tumbled out. My silver embroidered black robes twisted around my body as I landed ungracefully. I quickly righted myself and brushed dust and dirt off of my robes, straightening my customary golden buns. I smoothed the front of my clothes and waited patiently for my father to arrive. He did, merely seconds later. It was then that I noticed the man standing in front of me.

He was a blond, his hair paler than mine but still golden. His eyes were icy and blue, but not as cold as father's, and held warmth, to some extent. He was taller than father and his chiseled face made him a handsome man. He was well-built; his muscularity showing through his expensive blue silk robe. He glanced at me before turning to my father.

"Ah yes, Tsukino. Wonderful to see you again," the man's voice was deep and reverberated through his chest.

"Malfoy, long time, no?" her father replied, a cold smile on his face. 'Malfoy' merely gave a vague smile back. Father motioned towards me, rather stiffly. "This is my daughter, Usagi. She is expected to listen to your every command. I permit you to punish her as you see fit. Beating her and using the Cruciatus Curse does well. If she disobeys you incessantly, you may call me and I will personally deal with her. Do not give in to her excessively and work her hard. She must learn to be obedient. It is for our greater good."

"I do know how to raise a child," 'Malfoy' laughed, but to me, it did not sound true. "I have one of my own."

"Do not shower her with love and presents, as you do with your own. She deserves nothing for what she has done," Father looked at me with his unnerving glare. It was then that I realized he held me accountable for my mother's death, my rather perceptive mind picking up his hatred for me. I was confused with this awareness, as I didn't even remember my mother. There were no pictures of her in our household and no one dared to speak of her. Going through all the novels that I had read, I remembered the way they described a parent's love for their child. I had never experienced something of the sort before, excluding Luna, but I knew I would get none of it from my father then. It was then that I learned to trust no one and to love no one. What little love I had for my cold, foreign father disappeared entirely at that moment. I depended on no one, something my father was trying to teach me.

"I understand," Malfoy replied coolly, his gaze never leaving my face which was now twisted in a mirror of sorrow and realization. I quickly put up my mask, the one that left me emotionless, and I looked back at him with an air of cockiness and blank eyes. He merely held my blue orbs and nodded once at my father, who set down my suitcase, bid me a detached farewell, and popped into thin air. His eyes then returned to me. "I am your new mentor, Lucius Malfoy. You heard what your father said. Follow me, girl." I gave a sweeping curtsey and followed, my suitcase trailing behind me once again. He led me through a mansion that wasn't as big as mine, but was more welcoming. Cheery torches lit everything up in a golden glow. House-elves scurried along the hallways, pausing to bow at their master. There were actually people here that talked to each other in _normal_ voices, not hatred and contempt. It felt… nice to be here.

Along the way, Malfoy met with a tall woman. She was model-thin and beautiful, with her downy pretty blonde hair and big blue eyes. The only thing was her rather upturned nose that scrunched once she saw me.

"Lucius, who is this?" her voice was tinkling and soft. She glanced at me before looking into the man's eyes.

"Narcissa, this is Usagi. I'm her new _mentor_," Malfoy said mentor in such a way that I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with this picture. Narcissa, whom I assumed to be Lucius' wife, smiled down upon me in such a kind manner that my heart nearly stopped. No one, other than Luna, had dared to smile at me. They just regarded me with their frozen stares and attended to my needs. She was a woman that I would look up to at that period in my life, but later, when I looked back on it, I would know that she suffered hardships that were like mine, but not as painful in the physical sense. And yet, she had had enough kindness left in her broken heart to smile at me. That made her strong and I still admire her for that.

"Usagi, you are quite a pretty young child," I blushed at the first compliment that anyone had ever given to me. Suddenly, I was shy. I gave her a slow, small smile and looked at her through my lashes, my cheeks tinged with rose.

"Thank you," I replied bashfully. She laughed a little and told her husband that she'd take me to my room. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left her with me. An apparent smile was on her face, though sorrowful, as she looked at me. I knew she could see the bruise my father had given me the night before, even though I had carefully applied concealer, with the help of Luna. She touched it lightly, running her elegant hand down the side of my face.

"I heard what your father said," she spoke simply and shook her head. "You won't understand now, at such a young age… not everyone is your friend."

"Perhaps I do know that, and though I may be young, I know much more than you think," I felt comfortable talking to her, and somewhere in the back of my head, I knew she wouldn't strike me for speaking when not asked to do so. Somehow, at that point in my life, I began to prepare myself for the future. Something was going to happen to me, and my six year old mind knew it. "I am not like other children, Mrs. Malfoy."

"I can see that."

"You should look past appearances. They are merely illusions. Love itself is an illusion and it can bring down the world. It can make the vilest of men beautiful and the ugliest of women attractive. And yet, without it, hope would be lost. As I have said before, I'm smarter than I look."

Her eyes widened at this statement and a single tear made its course down her pale cheeks. She understood what I meant. Her life was one in which she acted. Her actions, her speech, and even her thoughts were carefully monitored by her husband. He controlled her. She had fallen for a handsome, kind, wonderful young person. She had gotten something else in reality. I stiffened and tensed when she swept me into a hug and cried quietly on my small shoulders. I let her, and slowly, I relaxed. I was never hugged or kissed in my childhood years, so I didn't know what to do. I opted for patting her awkwardly on the back and giving her a discomfited hug. I actually felt loved for the first time.

**_Break_**

My stay with the Malfoys would prove to be quite an interesting one. Narcissa was kind and understanding, but only when her husband was not around. Lucius was almost as cruel as my father, and yet, he held a soft spot for his only son, Draco. Draco wasn't the nicest person on Earth and I suppose he disliked me because I was so close to his mother. I really couldn't help it; I never had one to begin with. Draco was pale and he inherited his father's icy blue-gray eyes. They held contempt for the world, and somehow, I knew that he discerned what his father did to Narcissa. My first lesson wasn't very pleasant, however. As smart as I was for my age, I understood nothing about evil and its power of destruction. I would understand soon enough.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Lucius was certainly a dark man. His pale appearance suggested otherwise, but his dark eyes held hatred in them so deep that it made me shiver. The way he regarded everything as if it was the most contemptible thing on the face of the planet unnerved others. He looked at me with shadowed eyes on our very first lesson, watching my posture, scrutinizing me.

"Someone of your blood does not slouch," he corrected in his quiet, mocking voice. I straightened my shoulders and my back. He slowly walked around me, inspecting me as he did so. His hands were behind his back and his pace even and wide. I hung my head, afraid. "Put your head up!" he barked at me, tugging my hair so that I uncurled my neck. I winced but said nothing. "When I talk, you will say yes or no sir. If you have a question, you will wait until I finish speaking. Is that clear?" I simply nodded my head and he struck my face. My head snapped to the side. "What do you say!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" My voice was shaking as I stared straight ahead. Any salvation I had hoped for ended right there, the moment I had been slapped. I blinked away my tears of disappointment, hoping he hadn't seen them. He didn't say anything if he had seen them, but he continued to walk around me.

"When my wife addresses you, you will reply with yes ma'am or no ma'am. Am I understood?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"We will begin this lesson by talking about the roots of dark history." Lucius led me to a desk and forced me into a chair. I sat quietly, listening as he explained the details of what was supposedly the 'right' side. I knew better. Lucius thought me to be a typical six year old, one whose mind could be easily molded. This information, however, would serve me a purpose later in life. Going into great depth, Lucius would get emotional about a couple of topics, and those were the ones I paid special attention to. "Dark history is not evil nor is it bad. It is merely something mudblood-lovers named us, the people who were trying to purify our race. They called us evil, dark, disgusting. They themselves are the evil ones. They are dirtying our blood; they are marring our race. These mudbloods are all traitors. They live to protect their precious muggles who have killed so much of the purebloods."

"The Dark Lord has a mission. It was sent to him by the Warlocks of Old. I assume you've read about it?" I nodded, remembering that they were supposedly God-like spirits that sent people revelations and premonitions, all of which came true. I myself didn't believe in them. "Yes, well, they instructed him on purifying the magic race and to stop muggles from taking over. He had a vision that they would destroy purebloods and declare mudbloods the ultimate race. His mission is not evil. It is to help us survive, us, the true wizards and witches. You are a pureblood and therefore, it is your duty to serve the Dark Lord…" He went on and on about Voldemort, about how great he was and what a hero he was. I listened interestedly and played along with his intentions. I was not so easily manipulated. He ended my first lesson soon after that and Narcissa came to pick me up. She started when she saw my swollen cheek.

"He hit you?" her voice was a whisper so that her husband wouldn't hear what she had to say. I nodded slowly and offered her a reassuring smile.

"It was nothing," I replied. "I've been through much, much worse."

"I wish you wouldn't have to do this," her voice was still a whisper as she led me to my room.

"Sometimes, we are forced to do what we don't want to. But we shouldn't wish ourselves out of it; wishing won't help anything. We should embrace what we have and make the most out of it. This knowledge that I'm learning, it's going to help me when I'm older. I just know it. And getting a little beaten will only give me strength for the future. It will teach me what not to become."

"You are so wise for someone your age," Narcissa said in amazement. She shook her head. "It's like talking to an adult." I merely smiled at her mysteriously. "You haven't met my son yet, have you?" I shook my head. "Well, he's back from his friend's house. He's only three months older than you. Would you like to go meet him?" I nodded and grabbed her hand. She squeezed mine and gave me a kind smile, not letting go as she led me to the dining room. A young boy, a little taller than me, was sitting in a chair. Baby fat padded his face, giving him an innocent look. His hair was a light, pale blond and slicked back like his father's. His eyes were what captivated me the most. They were blue-grey in color and swirled into lighter or darker shades depending on his moods. I could already tell that he was going to be good looking when he grew up. But what made me stop was the fact that he was glaring at me with all the contempt and hatred he could muster. Back then, I wouldn't understand why. But as I grew older, I realized that he was jealous of my relationship with his mother.

"Draco, meet Usagi," Narcissa smiled warmly at her son, giving him a hug as she set him down to the floor. He merely glared at me. Narcissa nudged him forward, giving him a little push with her hands. "Usagi is here to train with your father. She's a very nice person. Go on. She won't bite."

"Hi," I smiled brightly and extended my hand, trying to ignore his scorning gaze. He sneered at me as he accepted it. I just gave him a 100 watt grin.

"Hi," his voice was hesitant and filled with sarcasm. Narcissa smiled at me.

"He's shy," she explained. I nodded, accepting her explanation.

"I am not!" Draco protested.

"Sure, honey," Narcissa looked at her child, and her gaze was filled with a love that she would never be able to give me simply because of the fact that I was not hers. At that point, I knew I had looked to her as a mother of sorts and was hoping that she'd see me as her own child. I was filled with the immature notion that she was indeed my mother and that by some twisted, unexplainable means, she had ended up with Lucius. I had proved myself wrong once again. This realization almost brought me to tears. My childish mind couldn't take the fact that I would live out the rest of my life without having her declare that she was my true mother. I managed to hold in my tears for later.

"Usagi, would you like some ice cream?" Narcissa led me to the table and sat me next to Draco before I could respond. She set a bowl filled with chocolate ice cream. It was topped with chocolate chips, sprinkles, nuts, M&Ms, and a hot fudge sauce that changed colors. I thanked her quietly as she handed me a spoon. As I ate, I couldn't help but notice the way she would smile at Draco and send him looks of pure adoration. She would send a few looks my way as well, but her eyes were filled with pity. It was something I did not want and suddenly, I had lost my appetite. I excused myself and went to my room. I ended up crying myself to sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The rest of my stay with the Malfoys passed in that fashion. Lucius would take me to my lessons and teach me darker spells and curses that I was to use in the future. He would also instruct me in the history and the doings of Dark Wizards and History. It was rather unnerving, but I followed through and passed. That did not mean that it was easy. Bruises were on my face and body nearly every day of my stay at the Mansion, as opposed to the few times a year my father was home, but it made me stronger. By the end of the period, his blows did not hurt nearly as much as it did in the beginning. The Cruciatus Curse did not hurt as much either. My father came at monthly intervals to see how I was doing. Those were the meetings that were the worst. I was beat twice as hard and the Curse was put upon me longer than usual. I still wonder how I managed to keep my sanity.

Narcissa would shower me with secretive gifts and affection. Although she would always love her son more, I knew she had a special place for me in her heart. That made me significantly happier, and as I grew up, I would meet her a few more times. Each time, we would grow closer, and she became my confidante. I left her home with many memories, both happy and sad. Back at my home, I would be lonelier than ever. I had become accustomed to the cheery quality at Narcissa's home. I returned to a darker and colder house than I remembered leaving. The servants held a blatant disregard for me and completely ignored me. Even Luna was more reserved and didn't touch me. I was left on my own, without human touch, comfort, or love, for the next year. I still remember it as a horrible ordeal.

My house was bigger than I remembered it as I stood in front of it. It was humungous, the biggest in the Eastern Hemisphere. My father prided himself in his illegal wealth, and though many knew that he was a liar and a cheat, they didn't say anything about it. My father was skilled at killing people without any traces of him left behind. All the windows at my house were darkened except for a few in the Eastern Servant's Wing. The giant doors I remembered opened to reveal a dark and rather chilly reception room. There were no cheery fires running in the room, and my heart fell. In the Malfoy's house, there were always fires. As I was lead to my room, I shivered because of the cool temperatures. I find that being cold is better than being unloved. That was the worst part. Luna refused to look me in the eyes and her movements were jerky as if she couldn't stand me. It was the first time I was ever truly alone.

* * *

I've decided to combine the first two chapters and the last two chapters since I base chapter length on previous chapters. This is a good thing :grins: Longer chapters for my fans! Big thanks to themoonmaiden for being my beta reader! And thanks to Jessica and SachiNyoko for inspiration. 


	2. Part Two: Essence of Evil

Well, here's the re-edited chapter two! I left some editor's comments that my fabulous beta reader, themoonmaiden, had left. Woopsies!

* * *

**Hope**

by samisweet

Chapter Two

* * *

Life is not a box of chocolates as some like to say. You can just about always expect what is to come since everything is a result of your actions. Life is not as sweet as chocolate either. Rather, it is a bitter, sour, rancid victual that feeds on itself to create chaos. Everyone's life is the same, though some have it a bit better than others. For me, happiness is quite a foreign thing. I do know how it feels, thanks to Narcissa, but I never experienced it often in my life. Luna was one of those that made me feel that way, but she changed drastically. Her eyes still held affection, but sometimes they held hatred so deep that I would fall back a few steps. I understood not why she was that way until I grew older and learned of my destiny. That, my friends, will be revealed to you later.

When I was seven years old, my father hired more teachers to instruct me in fighting. I had been learning how to fight with the staff as well as the sword since I was three so I was prepared for the vigorous training ahead. By the time I was eleven, I mastered hapmudo, jujutsu, and tae kwon do. Though the lessons were arduous and the teachers were strict, I proved to be a good fighter despite my size. My intensive knowledge helped me deal with the lustful men and demeaning people I encountered years later.

To keep myself from succumbing to loneliness, I studied as hard as I could, staying up 'til two or three in the morning and waking up at eight for martial arts training. Other than the time I spent with the teachers, I was pretty much left alone. My eighth birthday passed unnoticed. Neither my father nor the servants made mention of it. I did, however, receive a book on the history of Voldemort from my father. After two months of near isolation, I was summoned into my father's study.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Usagi," my father's voice was its normal drawling coolness. I curtsied formally and waited patiently for his words. A cool breeze slowly swept throughout the room. Save for the twittering of the birds outside, the room was deathly quiet as his arctic eyes scrutinized my eight year old body. I focused on a point behind him and found myself staring at his portrait. What struck me about it was that his eyes were warm and caring as they gazed down upon me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pale hand came to rest in his. I blinked and there stood the most regal and beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her long, thick, and glossy hair was silver-gold tinged with lavender. Her face was perfect in all aspects: her cheekbones high, her lips full, her eyes the purest of blue. She gave me a sad smile before blowing me a kiss. I blinked again and she was gone.

I forced myself to look away from the haunting image of the man whose eyes were now sorrowful. My father narrowed his eyes as he glanced over his shoulder. His face hardened and he clenched his jaw.

"What were you looking at?"

"I thought I saw a woman there," I started to say until I realized the danger I was in. "But I blinked and she was gone."

"You saw nothing," my father spat. I nodded quickly and his reddened face returned to its normal pallor. "Listen very carefully to what I have to say. Since you are the heir to one of the most powerful and richest people in this world, you must look the part. I have given you a monthly allowance of ten galleons. You are to buy what you need. I will tell you whatever else you need to buy. Do you understand?" I nodded. "Good. You will travel by Floo Powder."

"Yes, father." I followed him to a roaring fireplace. Glowing embers spat out of the dancing flames until he threw in a pinch of the glittering powder. The fire grew at once. It burned brightly and intensely until the fiery red became a cool emerald.

"Step in and say 'The Leaky Cauldron'."

I obediently stepped in, enjoying the tickling sensation that swept through my skin. Taking in a deep breath, I clearly said the three words. Immediately, a pulling was evident in the very center of my being and I could feel myself falling forward at a fast rate. I bit back a scream as I tumbled out of a dark and dirty fireplace, my face smudged with soot. I scrambled up and straightened my dress, brushing off as much dirt and soot as I could. My father appeared beside me with a 'pop' and led me down a set of stairs. The room was musty and dimly lit with candles and a few torches. Old tables and chairs were scattered around the area. Witches, wizards, and even a goblin or two occupied the room, chattering and drinking from frothy mugs and dirty glasses filled with colorful liquids. A bar stood on one side of the room, stools stacked across in the front, and the back lined with glasses, mugs, and bottles, as well as kegs. I followed my father as he stopped in front of the bar. An old wrinkled man appeared and gave me a toothless grin. I shuddered.

"Hello, Mr. Tsukino," his voice was wheezy. "I see you brought a guest today."

"Tom, this is my daughter," my father said as he pushed me forward. Tom rested his cloudy eyes on me once more. Suddenly, his face broke out into a smile.

"Quite like her mother, this one," he nodded towards me and I was all ears. This was the first time I had ever heard anyone speak of my infamous mother. The fact that I was being compared to her gained my undivided attention. "Same eyes, same looks, but her hair… it's a different color. She's much prettier, however."

"I would appreciate it if you do not mention her in front of me or my daughter again," my father berated. The old man shrank in fear, glancing at me as he did so. I could easily see the pity in his eyes but I did not let it affect my composure. "My daughter will come here whenever she pleases, and when she does, I expect you or another witch or wizard to lead her into Diagon Alley. Do you understand?" Upon seeing Tom's nervous nod, he regally exited the Leaky Cauldron. I immediately followed. We walked in silence until we came across a brick wall. I looked at it questioningly until my father pulled out his wand and tapped on numerous red bricks. Suddenly, a small hole opened and grew into an arched breach just big enough for my father to come through. I followed him and stifled my gasp.

There, in front of me, was a paved street teeming with wizards and witches of all kinds in jewel colored robes. Young children wailed for their mothers as salespeople called out discounts and new items. Owls swept in by the dozens from above. Little shops were set up on either side of the street, homely and welcoming with huge advertisements decorating the window. The place glimmered and glittered with unseen magic, and I enjoyed the feeling of being with my own. It was then that I noticed happy families eating ice cream, hugging, and laughing together. My throat tightened, but I dared not spill a tear. Close friends walked arm in arm as they prattled animatedly. My father stopped as soon as we came in, and the opening behind us whirled close. My musings were interrupted when he spoke.

"I will leave you here to explore. When you feel like returning, ask any wizard or witch to take you back to the Leaky Cauldron. You will travel back by Floo Powder. Say ' Tsukino Mansion' to go back. When you tell the wizards your name, they should listen and if they do not, I will deal with them later. For money, go to Gringott's. Here is your key." He handed me a small silver key. I looked closer and I could see ten small gems, each embedded in planetary symbols in a rainbow of colors. The last gem was white and surrounded by a golden crescent moon. "You have your own separate account and there should be enough there to last you a while. If you need any more, tell one of the servants and they will tell me. Now I have better things to do, so you may leave."

"Yes, father." I curtsied, turned around, and walked away. Suddenly, I was frightened. I didn't know anyone nor did I know anything. I read about this place, of course, thanks to father's extensive library. That did not mean that I ever expected to be here. My head turned every which way, looking around at the various shops. Cauldrons and astrolabes decorated the window of one store, while broomsticks decorated another. Rows upon rows of herbs and magical ingredients flanked one section of the street. In front of me was a white marble structure, large and beautiful. Flowery golden letters labeled it as Gringott's. I quickly headed inside, intent on getting money to spend. I paused to read a warning to thieves. As I headed in, I noticed that the runners of Gringott's were goblins. My surprise was hidden beneath my mask, however, as I approached one of them. He peered closer at me and looked around.

"Where are your parents, young girl? Are you lost?" He looked closer and I found myself shuddering under his beady gaze.

"No, sir, I am here on my own." I pulled out my key and handed it to him. "Here is my key, sir. I need money from my account."

"Driggle!" A warty goblin made his way over, occasionally stumbling over his own feet and apologizing as he bumped into other glaring goblins. He was small and his voice was high and squeaky. He bowed once he reached us.

"Yes, sir!" His quick salute made his superior roll his eyes.

"Please take her to account number 1000," the goblin ordered as he handed me back my key. Driggle bowed once again before leading me to a cart. I climbed in and the cart started rolling slowly. It picked up speed as it went along, winding through dimly lit passages and dark hallways, going past thousands and thousands of flat doors. Soon, I was holding on to my cart for dear life as we hurtled down steep hills, the wind blowing so hard across my face that I could barely breathe. The cart jerked to a stop and I could feel my breakfast fighting its way up my esophagus. I swallowed, not wanting to vomit in the middle of nowhere in front of a stranger goblin. I looked ahead as the goblin drew one finger down a silver door. It simply melted away, inviting me into a candle lit room. I gasped.

On one side of the room, rows upon rows of beautiful jewelry were stacked neatly in glass covered shelves, twinkling merrily in the dim light. On the other side, mounds of bronze, silver, and golden coins filled up the space. It was more than enough to last a humble person a lifetime, but my father said that this was merely to last me a short while. My eyes fell on a pedestal that was in the middle of the room where a beam of light cascaded. It was a clear blue with green glass vines wrapping around it in a fancy dance. One large leaf on top exposed a beautiful clear red flower. On top of the bloom was a crown, made of delicately spun silver and gold, and embedded with ten differently colored gems. In the middle was an exquisite pearl, at least half an inch in width, surrounded by sparkling diamonds in the shape of an eight pointed star. The rest of the nine jewels were surrounded by mini versions of itself in nine planetary symbols, with the one in the middle the biggest and most glimmering. I tore my eyes away from it when the goblin behind me cleared his throat. I smiled at him before grabbing a small glittering, golden purse and stuffing it with galleons, sickles, and knuts. He led me back to the cart and we hurtled back to the entrance. I bid my adieu to Driggle and the goblin that had first served me before heading out into Diagon Alley for my first shopping spree.

**_Break_**

Diagon Alley would become my second home in the coming months. I would spend many a day at Flourish and Blott's, reading as much as I could to ease my thirst for knowledge. When I had had my fill, I would stroll along the streets and meet many witches and wizards. Since I had been starved for attention and affection for too long, I made sure that I was cheerful and kind to everyone. Because of this, I became some sort of a 'favorite' especially among shop owners. (I suppose my rather large bank account had something to do with their easy acceptance of me too.) They had even started to call me 'Bunny,' the English equivalent of my Japanese name. I didn't mind this nickname at all. In fact, I relished it.

I had been in and out of many shops, oohing and aahing over the displays and the wares, much to the owners' delight. Within a short amount of time, I had been inside every store save for one. There was something peculiar about the last uncharted territory. My curiosity got the better of me and, one afternoon, I found myself opening its door.

0o0o0

Dust was floating in substantial masses, giving the inside of the aged shop a foggy look. Magic whirred from every nook and cranny, gleaming and glimmering in the soft golden light. It was thick in the air and it pressed down heavily onto my small body. Boxes upon boxes were stacked in messy rows. Sometimes, small bursts of sparkles, flames, and feathers would explode out of these packages, surprising me. I went up to the counter but there was no one in sight. A thin layer of dust had settled on the desk where a small bell perched. I rang it questioningly and, to my surprise, a man appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Ms. Tsukino, is it?" The man smiled at me, his eerie eyes gazing into the depths of my soul. "You are the talk of Diagon Alley. Many are overcome with your flowing kindness and charity."

"Yes, I am she," I murmured. I cleared my throat before continuing, "I am pleased to hear that I am not infamous at the very least. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr.…?"

"Olivander. It is Mr. Olivander." He offered his hand and I took it warmly.

"What kind of a shop is this, whirling and thick with magic? It suppresses me and I find it difficult to breathe."

"It is a wand shop, dear girl. Without a wand, a wizard cannot do any magic. I am the seller of these wonderful objects. You feel the magic in here?"

"Yes, Mr. Olivander, I do."

"Then you are a special one. Your perception, from what I have heard, surpasses many. Very few can feel magic as much as you can. The world can expect many great things from you, that it can."

"May I buy one?"

"I am sorry, dear girl, but only those entering their first year in a magical school can buy wands. Rules are rules, and there is no way around it. You must be eleven or twelve years of age. You have quite a way to go."

"Are these wands handed from wizard to wizard or do you need to create new ones for each generation?"

"These wands are indeed handed down, but I create new ones for special people. There are those that break or are destroyed. I must create new replacements for those as well."

"Quite an interesting occupation. I find it intriguing." At this comment, the man smiled broadly, his eyes wrinkling at the corners.

"You are unlike your father. I remember his first wand: eleven inches, mahogany, quite supple, made with dragon scale and the tail feather of a phoenix. Excellent for charms. Your mother, on the other hand, favored ten and a half inches, yew, bendy, and made with a unicorn tear and dragon heartstring. Very good for healing spells and transfiguration. She was a darling and very, very beautiful. Many thought of her as a goddess. She had a pure heart and a sparkling, clean soul." He paused and thought about what he had just said. "Your father wouldn't appreciate me telling you about her. We'll have to keep this a secret."

"I understand."

"Thank you. You have a long way ahead of you. Remember who your friends really are. I believe this is where we must part."

"It was nice to meet you, Mr. Olivander. Perhaps I shall visit you again. Thank you for your kind words. They will be remembered." I waved goodbye and left to visit the apothecary. His parting words left me confused and wondering. How did he know of my future? What did he mean? And how did he know my mother so well?

0o0o0o0o0

Evil has many forms. It is not only found in monsters, it is found in the heart as well. Good dominates the minds of most, but evil does infiltrate even the best of defenses, seeping in, uncurling dark tendrils to invade reasoning. My father, from what I had learned from Luna, was actually a clean soul in the beginning. He was charitable, kind, and his love for my mother and I was infinite. He stumbled upon a quick and easy way to his dreams, however, for the Dark Lord had promised him great wealth and power. I did not know what my pure mother had to do with the Dark Lord, but she was most likely a sacrifice of sorts. My first brush with true evil came when I was a mere eight year old.

My father was home for his monthly visit. He had ordered me to complete a three feet paper on The Uses of the Dark Arts and to bring it to his office. I complied, seeing as I had no choice. The essay in itself was difficult, filled with excruciating details and unknown words, causing me to go back to a dictionary from time to time to learn what they meant. When I returned to my father's study, I found the door closed. I knocked on it lightly before entering. The curtains were strangely drawn but the light still managed to filter in through the cracks. It danced playfully across the otherwise dark room. A blood red flame flickered from a skull base. I gulped involuntarily. I was spooked.

"F-Father?" My voice wavered slightly and I cleared my throat in an attempt to suppress both my curiosity and fear. With my heart thudding in my ears, I glanced around until I could finally make out the blurry outline of my father in the dark. He was puffing some sort of inhalant, the smoky gray slightly contrasting with the darkness. He noticed my eyes on him and motioned me to move closer. I obediently, albeit meekly, followed.

He addressed me simply and motioned me to sit in a chair beside him. I handed him my essay, exactly 3 feet and printed in neat, small handwriting. He nodded approvingly before inhaling his herbs deeply and huffing out the wastes. He paused, as if a sudden thought had come to him, and then shook his head. "Usagi, we have a guest." I glanced around but found no one. My eyes had slightly adjusted to the dark as I looked. I turned back to my father with a questioning gaze and he inclined his head slightly at the chair on the other side of the desk. I still saw nothing, but as I peered forth, I stifled a small shriek. There was a black substantial fog floating on the chair, swirling and shifting in the darkness. Small wisps uncurled to rest on the arms of the chair and two bold, bloodied eyes appeared on what seemed like the head, slanted with black slit pupils.

"H-Hello, sir." My own voice seemed small as I respectfully averted my gaze. The black mass laughed a throaty, evil cackle.

"Ah yes, Usagi Tsukino." Judging by the deep, reverberating voice, I guessed the mass to be a male. His voice instilled terror in me as it bounced off of the walls. I forced myself to keep my head high and to lock all of my emotions away into my little 'safe box'. Suddenly, it felt as if someone was pushing themselves into my mind and into my very soul. I stubbornly imagined metal shields and impenetrable force-fields surrounding myself. When I opened my eyes, I gasped when I noticed black tendrils hovering around me. They entered through my mouth, nose, and ears, forcing themselves inside me, trying to enter my mind. I set up walls of steel as a defense against the parasitic wisps and managed to expel the fog. Another murky laugh issued from the hovering mysterious matter. "I am impressed that someone as young as you was able to keep me out with a single thought. You'll do well. Tsukino, your daughter is quite intriguing. I believe she is the chosen one."

My father's handsome face paled, his features lined with traces of regret and sorrow. He glanced at me, his remorse deepening, before looking up towards the mass respectfully. His expressions disturbed me. I'd never seen them before.

"Tsukino, I hope you realize that what happened to your wife can happen to everyone in your family. Your life and your family belong solely to me. I am Lord Voldemort. I am a million times more intelligent, stronger, and more immortal than you. I consider you my closest comrade. Betray me and you shall pay the ultimate price. You have been warned." My thoughts flew a million times faster than normal at this new piece of information. The person I had studied so much about was here, in front of me, not even a whole being. "I will begin my lessons with her in two months. Remember." With that, the substance merely vanished, leaving no trace of the cloudy fog. It did leave an evil so thick that even my father seemed unnerved. What scared me the most about this situation was that I was the one he was coming after. I was the one he wanted. I was the supposed 'Chosen One'. For what purpose, I did not know, but I certainly didn't want anything to do with an evil that strong. Thus, I set my mind against his brainwashing, bribery, and training. It would prove to be the best decision I'd make in my entire life.

That wouldn't be the only thing on my mind in the coming years. Just a week later, my father revealed what I still consider one of the biggest surprises I'd ever had, one that I would regret not speaking against. It was…

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Well, hope you guys enjoyed that re-editedchapter! Seeya at chapter 5! 


	3. Part Three: A Surprise Wedding

Hey guys! I've FINALLY written the whole chapter! - Yay for me! Ehehe... probably been a few months, ne? Sorry for the long wait! I've just been SO busy and all that homework's been driving me up the wall. This chapter is pretty uneventful and boring but it was forced because I lost my inspiration. However, information revealed here is crucial to plot developement so bear with me! I've gotten my inspiration back, though, so woohoo! -v And I've found out about the review reply button so hurray! -;; Yeah, I'm a bit slow sometimes...

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**Hope**

by samisweet

Chapter Three

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I have no trouble at all recalling the day that my father revealed to me his secret. It wasn't of course, his most horrific one, nor was it so surprising, but I hadn't been expecting it so soon. Of course, every man is identical in that way, but my father had been so cold. I would have thought that he'd be more subtle and wait a little longer.

0o0o0o0

"Usagi," my father's frigid gaze swept over my frock-adorned body, inspecting to make sure that I was well dressed and unsoiled. I passed his assessment, hiding my potion-covered hands behind my back.

"Yes father," reverently bowing my head, I averted my eyes to the floor. He paused for a few moments, during which I fidgeted uneasily under his discerning eyes. He cleared his throat, almost uncomfortably. I glanced up to find him staring at the portrait of the woman I had seen years ago, the one where he was younger and happier. His eyes were far away, pained with a memory. I looked closer and saw his icy orbs watering, though no tears fell. He closed his eyes for a second before swallowing and sighing.

"There is something you must know."

"Yes, father."

"It will come as a shock."

"Yes, father."

"You will not be expecting it."

"Yes, father."

"Usagi…"

"Yes, father?"

"I am getting married."

"Yes, fath…" my voice faltered and my eyes grew wide. He was getting married? Since when? I could feel my jaw slowly dropping. I felt as if he had betrayed my mother. The mother I had never known but heard so much about, the mother that had died for unknown purposes in my third year into this horrid world. And now… he was getting married. The words repeated in my head, echoing incessantly. I closed my eyes briefly and cleared my throat, choking out my words. "Yes, father."

"My wedding will be next month."

"Yes, father."

"My fiancée has a daughter, one year older than you."

"Yes, father."

"I expect you to treat her kindly. She will be staying in the room across from yours." This brought another shock. It was my mother's room, filled with her accessories and robes and jewelry. It was her shrine, my passageway into her world. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Yes, father," my voice came out in a shaky whisper and I berated myself for showing weakness, in front of father no less.

"I expect you to treat my fiancée as you would your own mother. I have told her she is to treat you the same."

"Yes, father."

"My future daughter will be the flower girl. You will sit with the rest of the guests."

"Yes, father."

"Go to Madame Malkin's and find yourself a gown in pale blue. Make sure that it is nice and in the latest fashion. My fiancée has asked for it."

"Yes, father."

"You are dismissed."

"Yes, father," I turned around, careful not to show my hands. I know an incredulous look was on my face as I went back to my room. It was like walking in a dream. Everything around me was dull and lifeless. I felt alone and hurt. My father was getting married to someone other than my mother. Slowly, large, pearly tears began tracking down my face. He was marrying someone that already had a daughter… and she was going to be taking over my mother's shrine. Feelings of betrayal ran deep through my veins. A sob escaped. My mother was already forgotten. Another person was taking her place. I wondered distantly if my father married her because she was like my mother… or perhaps prettier and better. What if she was rude? What if she hated me? Would I forget my mother the way my father had? A million thoughts raced through my mind as I threw myself on my bed, crying.

0o0o0o0o0

The wedding was lavish. The most prominent people came to the celebration, which took place in a clearing of a magical forest, complete with cascading waterfalls and a calm, peaceful lake. It was right on the beach. A few hundred chairs were lined up to accommodate the guests. A straight path, marked by a lush silvery-white carpet, led to the altar, decorated with pink and red rose petals. I sat in the very front row, next to my supposed aunts and cousins, all of whom I had never met. There was a blonde who resembled me down to the very shade of my eyes sitting next to me. She introduced herself as Minako.

"I'm Usagi," I smiled warmly at her and she smiled back.

"So, have you met your stepmother yet?" Minako asked.

"No. Not yet. Have you?"

"Yeah. She's pretty, but a little uppity, ya know? She thinks she's all that. No offense, but I don't like her. Oh, sh, sh, the wedding's about to begin!" Minako squealed excitedly as my father began his trek down the aisle. His eyes met mine for a brief demi-second but he quickly looked away, instead, choosing to stand to the side of the altar with his entourage. The flower girl began to make her way down the aisle, sickeningly sweet in a pink and white frock-like robe. She had a syrupy smile on her face. Her dark green eyes were fringed with sooty red lashes. Lush red curls surrounded her face. She was pretty, even for a child. It was then that I realized that this girl would be my sister. I glared darkly at her as she skipped forward, showering the floor with red petals. She was going to be nasty; my child-radar was already tingling.

The bride was something else. Her face was hidden by a white veil but she had a body figure that would send anyone into fits of jealousy. I observed her luscious curves; the men were staring unabashedly at her, as if they were entranced. I suppose they had been at that time; a woman that beautiful was completely ethereal. The low cut décolletage of her robes gave way to ample cleavage and creamy pale skin. I watched on in horror as she moved down the aisle, accompanied by her bridesmaids. There was something about her that I did not trust at all. My father unveiled her, his face breaking out uncharacteristically into warmth as he leaned forward for a kiss. I couldn't look. I squeezed my eyes shut and shivered slightly. Minako comforted me to the best of her ability and I accepted the rare kindness.

I could feel someone's eyes on me and I turned to meet my father's icy blues. He held something akin to regret in them and when he found me looking at him; he instantly turned back to his wife. I felt a shiver go down my back. At the age of 8, I did not know much about the world, even though I knew much more than most adults, but I did know that my new mother was not normal. This fact caused me to doggedly pursue every fact about her the coming years, but that will be told later.

Soon after the procession came the dancing. The ballroom was the sand, magically fitted so that it was firm. A famous group of witches came with their beautiful instruments, pulling haunting melodies of love and eternity from metal and wood. I sighed as my father led the first dance, his arm around my new mother's waist, his eyes focused on her beautiful orbs of acid green. Her hair was covered by a thin white veil. People cheered when my father uncharacteristically dipped her for a sweet kiss. I tried to suppress the bile from coming out of my mother. My eyes stung with tears but I quickly swallowed them. A familiar figure came near me. I gasped in delight.

"Narcissa! What a pleasant surprise," I bowed respectfully as Narcissa embraced me.

"Yes, it is wonderful to see such a bright young girl again," Narcissa's eyes glittered with amusement as I hugged her back. "What do you think of her?"

I paused, watching as my new sister joined the dance. The three of them spun round and round, a happy family. I was excluded. They laughed cordially, chords of harmony that suited each other. They didn't bother to motion for me to join them. I started, realizing I hadn't answered. "There is something about her that I do not like." My voice was quiet and thoughtful as I continued to watch them. The crowd cheered them on with loud voices and a few sent sympathetic glances my way. What little attention I did get from my father would disappear, perhaps forever, I knew. But this was merely a test of my strength. My father ushered my new sister to dance with Draco, who smirked as he waltzed gracefully, talking softly with her.

"Me too," Narcissa watched her son dance with my redheaded sister. "Would you like a dance with Draco?"

"It's alright," I smiled as widely as I could. "I'd rather not. I'm not sure father would appreciate it too much."

"Usagi, the next few years will be very difficult for you," Narcissa started, refusing to meet my confused eyes. "It will take every ounce of strength and energy to make it through each day. But you have the strength and willpower within. Just search for it and I know that you will find it. I believe in you Usagi –when you feel that you don't have anyone, just know that I love you like my own child. You gave me the strength I needed –you give yourself the strength you need."

"What do you mean?" I was confused. It was as if she could see the future.

"I just have a feeling," Narcissa said honestly, glancing at her son. "Whatever happens, just know that you are the only true Tsukino. Your mother and sister cannot compare to you."

"Are they that horrible?" My question must have caught her off guard because she gave me a startled look. I pinpointed the problem. It was my new mother. She would be atrocious to me; I could tell merely by the way Narcissa tried to cover the truth in her eyes. She chose to remain silent but I gave a strong smile. "It's alright. I'll make it through. You said I would, didn't you?" Narcissa tried to blink back tears and succeeded as she looked down on me.

"Yes, you will make it through."

"May I have this dance?" a young boy, perhaps eleven, came up to me with ebony hair that contrasted greatly with pale skin and thick-lash-fringed blue eyes. He glared to his left, where I assumed his parents were standing and bowed. I gave a polite curtsey.

"Yes, kind sir, you may," I took his hand as he led me to the floor. A sweet melody began to play as I waltzed gracefully and with unmatched skill. My partner held me a bit far, but not so far that the dance was difficult. "I am Usagi Tsukino."

"Darien Shields," he replied, his eyes looking everywhere but my face. I had heard of his family before. He was from a pair of famous magical American beings; they were very wealthy and one of the last purebloods. I nodded as he took the lead. He was obviously trained well. The waltz came to an end; it was then that I realized that we were the only pair on the dance floor. Polite clapping reached my ears and I forced down a blush, instead, curtseying with fluidity. My eyes met with the venomous ones of my new sister as she glared at me.

I ignored her and returned to my place with Narcissa as she pushed her son, Draco, forward. Draco glared at me with his cool eyes before bowing. I accepted his warm hand before he led me to the floor and danced in a slow pace. I followed obediently, staying silent and instead choosing to observe the people surrounding me, people that were so blissfully oblivious to what their loyalty to the Dark Lord really meant. I sighed, my tense muscles relaxing as my eyes met once again with my father's. He was staring at me in a curious manner, as if trying to decipher something about me. He gave an extremely rare smile, as small as it was; in fact, I think that had been the first time I had ever seem him smile for real. But it was not one sprung from happiness; instead, infinite lines of sorrow, regret, and pain marked his features, causing him to look older than he really was. It was only a moment though, and I quickly danced with Draco, who held me with delicate hands, as if I'd contaminate him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

My first meeting with Voldemort was horrifying. I remember the terror coursing through my body when my father left me at an empty, pitch-black room. I was, and still am afraid of the dark, so I had used what little magic I was capable of at that age to create a small flame at the tip of my fingers. I immediately had wished that I hadn't done such a thing, for the ground was littered with decaying skeletons. I retched but my stomach was empty as the smell of rotting flesh reached my nose. Suddenly, I could feel something around me. I turned sharply, trying to find the source of my discomfort, but found nothing. It was then that I noticed the strange smoke swirling around my body, slowly winding up, where a large cloud formed. I blanched as Voldemort materialized above me.

"You've already manipulated magic," Voldemort said approvingly in his dark, ominous voice. "This will make things much easier. First things first, however. You obey me and only me. I am your Lord and your ruler. You have an irreversible loyalty to me. Understood?" I nodded fearfully; I understood but that did not mean that I would listen to him. After all, I had no intention of following his orders whatsoever, but I had an ability to hide my thoughts from him and to act so he never quite suspected a thing. He let out a loose laugh, one filled with electric darkness and I suppressed a shiver. "Now, your first lesson will be about dark magic. You can change your magic to become dark. Let me see you do a simple spell."

I trembled visibly as I tried to summon fire. My hands shook as a ball of flames flickered on and off in my palms, casting quivering shadows across the room. I took in a deep breath and the flame solidified into one unyielding object.

"Good, good," he said as he swirled around me, forming in front of my body. A small smoky tendril reached out to touch the flames, and instantly, the bright red fire turned into a violet-tinged black. I could feel the darkness seeping into me through my palms and I struggled against it, an internal battle raging as my magic pushed against the intrusion. With a blinding flash of light, I was thrown against the ground, causing a skeleton to crumble into dust.

"Fool!" Voldemort cried out. It was dark again and I couldn't see a thing but I could feel his presence. "You dare to defy me and my powers? Crucio!" I clenched my teeth as the curse hit me head-on. Hot pain flashed across my body as I momentarily let myself give in to the ache, whimpering loudly. I had enough wits not to scream, but that seemed to anger Voldemort even further and the curse intensified. I clenched my jaw shut and refrained from even whimpering, holding my breath as my muscles twisted into knots and my bones sent shots of stinging brutality through me. I would not let him win. "Interesting," he commented. The spell was lifted. My breathing became harsh and I pulled myself up to my elbows, groaning. "You are strong. Perfect." He moved around me, crimson eyes glowing in the dark. "Leave. Your lesson is over," he snapped suddenly. I lit a small flame on my palm and rushed towards the door, stumbling as I shut it behind me and falling to the floor in a grateful heap.

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There, a nice, awkward, long chapter for you guys. My chapters will now be eight pages long, so yay! Also, my beta hasn't read over this yet, so there's will be mistakes galore. Until then, you're welcome to look over this for me!

See the wee button that says 'go'? Please click it and leave a few words! I appreciate your support/criticism.


	4. Part Four: Unions and Curses

Repost! There were some mistakes that I overlooked. :sweatdrop:

After writing and rewriting I have finally managed to spit out a new chapter! Woohoo! Three cheers for moi! This chapter is rather boring, but essential to developement, and I hope you enjoy it!

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**Hope**

by samisweet

Chapter Four: Unions and Curses

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Perhaps I should have said something against my father's union with my stepmother. Her name was Metallia, as I found out later. She had long, metallic-black hair that fell in soft curls and a seductive, sultry face. She was beautiful, I would give her that. Her personality was sweet in a sickening way. I still find it hard to believe that my father, an impeccable, cold businessman, would fall in love with such a woman. She had taken over the household the moment she stepped into my father's home. Suddenly, the servants were scurrying around, changing paintings and décor. The only painting that remained was the one where I had seen that beautiful lady in, only a few weeks ago. My father condemned the painting from being removed, though I was perplexed as to why. 

I remember my first real meeting with my stepmother. My father discreetly stood in the back, proud and tall. He watched Metallia with subtle adoration, giving her his quiet support.

"Hello, Usagi!" she cooed. The smile on her crimson lips was syrupy sweet. I almost winced. "I'm Metallia. You can call me mother, or even mommy! I'm sure we'll come to be the best of friends. Your father told me so much about you."

"It is a pleasure to meet the woman who is to become my new mother," I replied politely, a smile gracing my features as I flourished a graceful curtsey. My father nodded approvingly. "I look forward to our times together."

"Oh, isn't she a sweetheart," Metallia hugged me, her large 'racks' practically causing my suffocation. I tentatively wrapped my arms around her waist in an unsure hug. With one last squeeze, she thankfully released me. I pasted on my best smile. "Wow, you raised her yourself, Kenji? My, you did a wonderful job. She's beautiful and her manners are perfect."

"Yes, I did," Father eyed me coolly. "She is to be treated fairly, Metallia, for she is the last of her bloodline."

"Oh, I wouldn't treat such a darling girl in any other way," a sly, treacherous smile lit her face as she pulled my father in for a disgustingly passionate kiss. I turned away to give them privacy. It was gruesome, having to stand there and _listen_ to my father kiss a woman that was not my mother. My eyes traveled to the painting where I had seen that beautiful woman –only to freeze in surprise. She was back, her eyes lit with confusion and a very slight, barely detectable anger. She caught my gaze and gave me a heart-warming smile. I watched breathlessly and gave a hesitant smile back. She returned her gaze to father before looking at me once again. Mouthing the words 'strength' and 'luck' to me, she gave a shake of her head, blew a kiss, and disappeared once again.

"Usagi, return to your room," my father said breathlessly, not bothering to check if I had left the room before resuming the despicable make out session. I sighed as I reached my room, knowing what my father and his new wife was undoubtedly up to. I made a face and faked a gag. Maybe a trip to Diagon Alley was needed. I felt the need of a new textbook.

_**Break**_

The air was musty and dank, familiar to me. I briefly took a breath in to enjoy it before heading towards a particular section on potions. Potions were becoming harder and harder as I progressed from simple ones, but I enjoyed creating them immensely and could often find and create remedies for common illnesses. I picked up the newest release and headed to the counter to pay. The cashier smiled down endearingly at me and I gave my brightest smile back, paying the hefty sum for the book. I left with a magically light-weighted package under my arm. My mind was side-tracked horribly and consequently, I went crashing into someone, my package saved from the ground thanks to my trained reflexes.

"I'm terribly sorry," I apologized sincerely as I stood and brushed the grime from my robes.

"Save it," the familiar voice replied. I put on an oblivious smile.

"Why, Draco, a pleasure," I curtseyed gracefully.

"Dad's not here; you can act normal," he rolled his eyes, a broom in one hand and a toy in the other.

"Normal? That there isn't the case; however, I should be going because I'm expected back home," I looked into his eyes and my nine year old mind processed the obvious pain. "And whatever it is, Draco, good luck with it." He was shocked to say the least and I could tell he was watching me from behind.

_**Break**_

My second meeting with Voldemort was perhaps more terrifying than the first. He had grown more manipulative in the month that evaded our previous encounter. I had perfected magic spells that would effectively repel his gains on me and they proved to be useful. He attempted to control my mind with weak spells the moment his wispy being entered the darkened room. I expelled them quickly with a single thought. He laughed his grating chuckle and immediately, my body was caught with pain. My insides twisted until I was sure I was dying and yet, I refused to utter a single word.

"Foolish girl, you cannot resist me forever!" he cackled, his crimson eyes glaring ominously at me. I tried to keep my mind clear from all pain but fog continued to cover all rational thought. Suddenly, my head was clear as day, although the curse was still on me. I began to white out, a serene vision encasing my mind. A bright light imploding into a crystal that bloomed into a rose… colors of the rainbow swirling together to create an eight-pointed star…

And suddenly, the pain stopped. I knew that spell was continuing but my body was unfeeling towards the twisting feeling. The spell stopped altogether and I was aware of another visitor.

"Ah yes, young Draco Malfoy," the Dark Lord laughed. "Here for your first training session?" I turned to look at the older blond, who merely nodded. He was not made for this kind of training. He had never experienced pain and I knew that the moment a Forbidden Curse hit him; he would be good as gone. I suppose I thought I owed it to Narcissa to have him under my wing. And in many ways, I did. I was happy to find that Draco was just as resistant as me, if not more so. Within the first five minutes, Voldemort was thoroughly angry and annoyed. He narrowed his ghost-like eyes and pointed a curling tendril at him.

Before the curse could hit, I lunged towards Draco. The Cruciatus Curse hit me straight on and pain slashed through my body. I defiantly clenched my jaw shut as the pain increased. He hit me with some other curse, and this one, combined with the first, was enough to make me release a blood-curdling scream. As quick as the pain came, it stopped, and I was suddenly pushed out of the room, along with Draco. He looked at me wide-eyed. I merely gave a weak smile back.

_**Break**_

The next year that passed was wretched. My stepmother treated me poorly. Her daughter, Beryl, was jealous of what I had and my stepmother was jealous of my father's protection of me. My room, of course, was untouched, but the rest of the house reeked of Metallia and Beryl's stench. They turned my servants against me, even though it had not taken much convincing, and they made sure that no servant went to serve me or take care of me. It was of no matter, for I traveled to Diagon Alley and ate at the various restaurants available in the stretch of the street, venturing out a few times to eat at muggle restaurants. But loneliness crept in even further. I had always had Luna to turn to, even when she disliked me. She never let her suspicion and hatred get in the way of subtle conversation. My life reigned in silence. At home, I was stuck in my room. My training sessions had stopped mysteriously. I studied harder and practiced longer.

In one instance, my stepmother had had a party. I came to the conclusion that it would be best if I headed to Diagon Alley, but when I tried the door out of my room, it was locked. I could hear laughter and talking outside my room. I tried a simple unlocking spell, but it was fruitless. I tried a harsher one, and that one failed to work as well. My mind raked through spells that I had memorized, but to no avail. I was locked in. I would not dare break open the door for it would anger my father, so I sat by the door, waiting for the party to end. I was not free until two days later. I, luckily, had storage of snacks and beverages in one of my drawers. I never went hungry thanks to Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, and other wizardry delectables.

My sister, Beryl, was envious of me. She was pretty, yes, but I managed to attract more attention with my lustrous blonde hair and innocent blue eyes. In the coming years, our house was almost always filled with guests. They would coo over me and ignore Beryl, which angered Metallia. No matter how hard she tried to steer them away from my charm, they would always return to me. Narcissa, of course, was most appreciative of me. She had forged a rocky friendship with Metallia and was often over at my house with Draco. After the instance with the dark lord, Draco was much kinder to me and we found a slow, but sure friendship forming between us. Beryl often found herself alone when he was over, and I would politely invite her to join us, at which point she would run off with him to other destinations. I rarely minded.

My father held a party in honor of my tenth birthday, a feat he had failed to remember for his stepdaughter. It was, of course, for publicity reasons. Celebrities found themselves on the guest list and it was at an expensive wizard hotel, called The Merlin. It was classy and elegant. I remember it very well, for it was the first time my father had _personally_ doted on me. I can remember even more vividly the way my stepmother and stepsister glared at me in envy and hatred. My sister, evidently, received extravagant presents from my father, far more personal than he had ever given me. She had had a long list of things she wanted and took full advantage of my father's wealth. Even so, she found it unbelievable that my father would give such a party in my honor. From there, things turned worse.

_**Break**_

My head was bent over my books as I studied. My father expected a three foot parchment on different ways one could hide/disguise themselves by the end of the week. I flipped through a potions book that I had bought the day before, my eyes quickly scanning through words and pictures.

"Usagi," Metallia called with her dark voice. I sighed but steeled myself from reacting angrily. My footsteps were padded as I made my way down to the family room.

"Yes, mother?" I inquired politely. Her metallic obsidian eyes glared at me in unadulterated mischief. Beryl was smirking proudly beside her.

"My daughter here tells me that you broke her broom," Metallia drawled. I spared a glance towards Beryl and she stuck her tongue out at me –a childish response, really. "Not only that, but you broke it in half out of spite."

"Why would I do such a thing, mother? I have not left my room for the past day."

"You dare lie to me! Your father gave me full permission to punish you in this case," Metallia gave a shadowed smile, causing me to flinch. "Come along or I will leave your punishment to your father." My heart thudding in my chest, I obediently followed her. She led me to the dark, dank basement and pushed me against a wall. A spell bound my wrists above my head so that I faced the wall. "Your malevolence will be repaid. I'll show you who's better here. Why do you think your mother left you? She did not want to be with a daughter like yourself." I clenched my teeth at the remark, anger coursing through my veins. She summoned something, but I couldn't see what it was. A few moments later, a pain ripped through my sides –it had been a whip. Fifteen lashes for what I had never done… I could bear the pain. I had been through much, much worse. My face remained calm and I did not shed a tear. But inside, I could feel myself screaming in agony.

_**Break**_

That one incident left welts and open wounds across my back. From then on, I spent as little time as possible in the house. Luckily, Beryl was sent Hogwarts the very same year, leaving me at home with only my step-mother, who spent her time lamenting over her partner in crime.

During this year, my meetings with Voldemort came once a month. Every three months, Draco would join us for a half hour, or at least until he left for Hogwarts. Voldemort went past the stage of trying to brainwash me and instead, took it upon himself to teach me every hateful curse known to mankind. I held a terrifying power within me and he brought it out. I remember being fearful of myself after finding what harm I could do to spiders, rats, and other small animals. Death, burning, torture… and suddenly, I despised Voldemort more than ever, for teaching me that I could _kill_ with my magic. And I decided that with this ability, I would do nothing to a human –other than Voldemort and those that dared to kill others. He merely strengthened my will to do good.

* * *

For those of you that haven't seen Sailor Moon StarS, I totally reccommend it! It left me yearning for some good SeiyaUsagi and YatenUsagi stories. Fans of Stupid Little Gakki are lucky: I've been inspired to write another chapter! Watch the Japanese one; it's great! Usagi is so much more mature in that series, even though she still has her quirks. Rent it NOW :) 

I'd like to sincerely apologize for my lack of activity on FFN! Even though it's summer, I'm just so swamped with stuff to do, and guess what? Most of it has to do with school! I'm already stressing out about the IB classes I'm taking and school won't start for another few months. I hate summer work. Either way, please leave a review stating which story you want to be updated soon, excluding I Am Beautiful, I Want to Fly Again, and Usagi Then, Serena Now. Those three are permanently disbanded, sorry! Opinions on how this chapter went is greatly appreciated as well.


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